JOKE!!! JOKE!!! JOKE!!!

umuulan ng joke..
post ka dito ng joke mo.. maximum of 3 lang po per post.. yippie..

yung kay inday.. eto..

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I am solitary. I find it hard to succumb into slumber, though the downpour of rain should've make it easy. This exuberant emotional glue I have for you cannot be simply washed away. The multiplicity of what I feel for you is inevitable. This isn't platonic. It's real, true romance.

(Si Inday, nag-eemote sa bintana, habang iniisip si Dodong, ang boyfriend niya.)

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It's not that I don't like you. It's just that I feel we're still too young to entertain thoughts of fornication in the domicile of our employers. In fact, it's very immature to insinuate that I don't reciprocate your emotions just because I decline to perform an act of coitus with you.

(Inday, ni-reject si Dodong na makipagsex.)

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Misis: Inday! Bumili ka nga ng mga isda! Oo nga pala, inglesera ka na nga pala ngayon. Would you please purchase many fishes for our this week's meals?

Inday: Judging from your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term "fishes," although rarely and erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions before I traverse the road to the wet market would be: What type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day's catch? (Pauses) Aaaaahh. By manner of careful extrapolation, given the meager budget and this household's quasi-peasant middle-class taste, I assume then I will source the staple "Ga-lewng-gong, " am I correct?

Misis: Leche!

Inday: Oh, you meant the freshwater milkfish? The "ba-ngooz." Is it not?

inday din ako. hahah.

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"success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction. show me a person who has never made a mistake and i'll show you somebody who has never achieved much."

*iyan ang palusot ni inday nang sumabog ang microwave na ginamit niya.

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"don't limit my capacity in the four corners of this luxurious abode. expose me to the real challenges of the outside world. i want to grow as an individual with dynamic experiences."

*iyan ang himutok ni inday nang ayaw siyang isama sa enchanted kingdom.

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jeepney driver: hoy! bakit P6 lang ang binayad mo? P7 na ang pamasahe ngayon!

inday: i am currently enrolled in a two-year vocational course in an academic institution. therefore, i am a student, and by this fact, i am entitled to have the inalienable right to avail of a certain discount on my jeepney fare. this is why i providedd a payment less than what you expected because that is according to the law, as stated in the fare matrix.

jeepney driver: ok.

inday ulit. haha. suki!

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"i pity you for you have degraded your very own pride and dignity by resorting to this despicable behavior just for money. i hope that one day you will realize that you should not use people as means to your ends. as what the great philosopher Kant uttered, 'treat a man as an end in himself..'."

iyan ang sabi ni inday sa holdaper na nanghoholdap sa kanya.

ang sagot ng holdaper,
"shut up 'cause if you don't, the bullet in this gun will rest upon you empty head!"

ang susyal na nila no..

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"if the two eventually fell in love, despite the disparity of their ages and academic levels, this only lends substance to the truism that the heart has reasons for its own which reason does not know."

iyan naman ang sagot ni inday sa ina ni dodong na tutol sa kanilang pagmamahalan.

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"it is in mistakes that we learn how to grow to be better individuals. you may judge me for what you perceive but it is not my mistake that determines who i am, rather it is what i do to make things right."

sabi ni inday nang makabasag siya ng pinggan.

iba naman. haha.
BABALA: 'wag kang magbasa kung wala ka namang sense of humor.

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sumulat si malaki sa kanyang tatay:

dear tatay,
padalhan mo kami ng isang kilong bigas at isang dosenang itlog.
ang iyong anak,
malaki.

si malaki lumabas,
pumasok si maliit.
napunit ni maliit ang sulat.
para hindi mapagalitan, pinagdikit-dikit ng tape.
hindi alam ni malaki ang nangyari, inutos niya kay maliit na ihulog ang sulat.

pagbasa ng kanilang tatay:

dear bigas,
padalhan mo kami ng isang kilong tatay at isang dosenang anak.
ang iyong itlog,
malaki.

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nasasaktan ako kapag sinisiraan ka nila.
kaya hangga't maaari, pinagtatanggol kita!

kanina nga e, narinig ko 'yung isang chismosa sa 'min,
sinasabi na ikaw daw 'yung nasa gender video!

inaway ko nga!

pinagtanggol kita,
hindi naman talaga ikaw 'yun di ba?

mas magaling ka naman 'di hamak!

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hahah. ang corny.

Potatoes, when consumed in their raw state, are rapidly converted to glucose that raises insulin levels because of simple sugar. When cooked in high temperature like French fries, they produce large amount of free radicals in the body causing aging, clotting, inflammation, cancer, weight gain. One French fry is worse than a cigarette.

(Sagot ni Inday sa amo nang tanungin siya kung bakit di siya nagluto ng French fries. Nuritionist din pala si Inday.)

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- Drunken tiger shrimp and blue lobster meat cut diagonally with caviar served with milagrosa rice (red variety rice) and apricot sauce - Vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive oil garnished with mint leaves
- Lychee and peach salad with sour cream and cream cheese topped with lemon zest

(Baon ni Jun Jun sa daycare na inihanda ni Inday.)
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Heavy fire exerted by the stimulus affected the best conductor of heat which is the steel, causing the Oriza Sativa to change it's state of color, smell as well as the taste.

(Sagot ni Inday nang tanungin siya ng amo kung bakit nasunog ang sinaing.)

(Alam ko Oryza Sativa un eh..perobaka magalit si Inday pag nicorrect.)

-------------> inday, back again

"ang batayan ng pagiging mahusay na kasambahay ay hindi masusukat sa kakayahan sa isang mahusay na pakikipag-talastasan gamit ang pananalitang banyaga. sa halip, ito'y masusuri sa kakayahang gampanan ang pangkalahatang gawain at pagsisilbi sa taong pinaglilingkuran. wala sa salita kundi sa gawa!"

'yan naman si manang. ang bagong katunggali ni inday!

hindi lahat ng green masustansya...

-plema


yak!