truth

I looked at the people surrounding me, my face expressionless. I couldn’t help but notice that everyone seemed to be so happy today. And normal. They all had grins on their faces and were carrying on like the teenagers that they were expected to be.
Up ahead, the level moderator was scolding some erring student. A few girls were chatting and giggling behind me. Some boys were frantically copying geometry homework while their other classmates pored over their Chemistry books. It was such a typical Monday morning.
I moved away from the group of girls I was hanging with. They were all chatting excitedly and didn’t seem to notice the fact that I had already moved away. Oh well.
I walked listlessly to the drinking fountain near the juniors’ corridor. The ice cold water felt good on my dry lips and made me shiver a bit as it went down my also dry throat. It was a cold Monday morning but I felt so dry. And hot. And…well…just plain horrid.
Our adviser arrived and I moved to back of the girl’s line. As I entered the room, I gave my adviser a weak smile. She returned one of her own. I remembered then that I was a Monday cleaner. I got a broom and proceeded to clean the gutter.
I was trying to dislodge a piece of candy wrapper from the woody ‘claws’ of the shrub outside our room when I heard a familiar high-pitched voice from across the corridor. I looked up and saw that it was her.
And he was with her. I shrugged and continued to clean the gutter. But somehow, my eyes would wander towards them every once in a while. They were chatting and laughing. She’d look up to him, her eyes full of admiration. And he would look pleased, enjoying the fact that she was willingly feeding his ego.
After I finished cleaning, I took another drink from the fountain and made my way back to my classroom. Before I reached the door, glanced across the corridor. They were still there.
I went to my seat and closed my eyes for a few moments. I wished with all my heart that I could wash it all away. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t shake the sight of them from my mind. The look of pleasure in his eyes was enough to tear my heart in two.
Third period, we had English. After collecting our assignments, our teacher got a piece of chalk and started to right something on the board in big bold strokes. It was one word. But its impact on me was huge. I felt like I had been kicked in the gut.
Pride. That was all she wrote. Pride. And yet those five letters somehow managed to hurt me in the worst possible way.
Why? Because it was that word that caused my world to fall apart. When I met him, I was this girl without any cares in the world. Who sincerely believed that her life was as perfect as others believed it was. Who basked in the praises other people gave her, who enjoyed the near perfection she was feeling.
But after he came, I found out that I truly wasn’t perfect after all. He opened my eyes to the truth. That I was as normal as everyone else was. I did not rule the place, I was not perfection. He proved to me that I was merely human.
Like every other girl who came his way, I fell for him. And vice versa. Few were actually able to resist me after all, conceited as it may sound.
Now, new love has a tendency to appear perfect to the people experiencing it. But as time goes by, you begin to see the terrible truths about each other which you’ve done your best to hide. It’s good when you learn to accept each other’s faults for then you know that the love you feel is indeed the real thing. But as what high school love tends to be, what we had felt was not the ‘real thing’ after all.
And what, you might ask, was this terrible truth about me which he could never seem to accept? Well, my pride of course. I was used to being the center of all things. I had an ego as big as any man’s. He did not like this. He wanted a girl who would stroke his ego, who would shower him with compliments, who would adore him and make him feel superior. But that was not me.
To think about what had occurred between us pains me beyond relief. And though that event, that painful and horrid event, happened three weeks ago, the wound was still as fresh as before. That is why I cannot really accept the fact that everyone’s life was still going on normally. That people were still happy, that their worlds were still spinning. It was unfair. Why shouldn’t they be in pain too? Why shouldn’t he?
Right now, I feel like I have lost my faith in love. I don’t know why. What went on between us was probably a mere infatuation, not love. But somehow, I could not bring myself to believe that such a thing existed. That something as perfect as love was actually true.
I mean, if the pain inflicted by infatuation is this great, how much more would the pain of love be?
The sharp ringing of the bell broke my train of pitiful and depressing thoughts. I got up and walked quietly towards the cafeteria. I kept my head down, refusing to look up and see the malicious grins of my fellow students. How they loved to hate me!
From the day I have set foot in this institution, the majority of the people have wished for nothing but my downfall. And now, they have seen it. They have witnessed my fall and how overjoyed they were by the fact that no one was there to catch me.
Somehow, I managed to reach the cafeteria. I bought a slice of pizza and sat down on the first seat I found. I was alone and without the usual company I kept. I nibbled on the pasty pizza dough, realizing that I was not really hungry. I was only eating because it seemed to be the most normal thing for me to do. It was a mechanical act which required no feeling.
I was starting to think again about how depressing my whole life was when I felt something cold splash on my blouse. I stood up, startled. I looked at my blouse, seeing that it was now a brown mess.
I glanced about and saw a guy holding a cup of iced chocolate look at me fearfully. He was a few inches taller than me, with broad shoulders and a handsome face. All of sudden, I started to laugh. I couldn’t help it. A guy who looked as manly as the rest of them was looking very fearful and vulnerable because he had somehow spilled some iced chocolate on a much smaller girl like me.
Oh, How wonderful it felt to laugh again!
He grinned at me sheepishly, realizing I probably was not as fierce as rumors made me to be. His teeth were straight and perfect, and I could not help but feel a bit giddy. I felt once more like that girl I used to be. A girl with feelings and a light, happy mood.
“I’m really sorry…I didn’t mean to…” he mumbled shyly.
I looked up at him and could not help but smile. Maybe there was some truth to this love thing after all.......


*dalaginding08*

http://www.writerscafe.org/profile/jang_porzalain/

do you make this? uhm, do we have to comment or something?

i really don't have an idea.. you posted this to the poetry section.. it was like a person cut from a picture then paste it to somewhere else.

comment: try to separate the paragraphs. know your punctuations.. i'll leave my comment about the substance after you permit us to do so..

uhmm, hey. is this your work or something?
hmm, yeah. maybe you should try to organize it. make it more readable. ^_^

yung mga magaling magsulat ng kwento...ng poems...
join po kayo dito:

http://www.writerscafe.org/profile/jang_porzalain/

please post the name of the author.. and the title.. try also to read back your lessons in punctuations.. try to make it organized..

co writer ko po sumalat nyan. she's just using her code name YAOMING11 kaya di ko po lam name nya...
ganda po kasi eh nagustuhan ko...just wanna share sa inyo...
=)

pakilagay na rin po.. for formality..

sa lahat na rin ng pinost mong poems.. tnx

--ADMIN